In his new book “The Truth” Neil Strauss author of the infamous “The Game” which chronicled his adventures learning pick-up and seduction skills gets to fix all the mistakes he’s made by becoming a pick-up artist.
He goes on a journey to become the best version of himself.
I’ve written about this idea in a number of different ways because it’s central to the work I do. And that’s the idea that the most important relationship you have is with yourself.
Low self-esteem is when you have a low-quality relationship with yourself.
High self-esteem is when you’ve done the work – built the competency, as we were talking about previously to have a high-quality relationship with yourself.
In many ways, it’s a very simple idea. Do the work to upgrade yourself and you’ll feel better about yourself.
What’s important to understand is that as soon as you start you are starting the process of neurogenesis – you are starting to rewire your brain to be the better version of you.
In the film: “The Martian”, Matt Damon gets left behind alone on Mars when an accident happens and he has to work out how to survive.
He does that by focussing on the next problem to be solved, then the next problem after that. He doesn’t go: “I’m in an impossible situation I should give up and die.” He just focusses on the next thing to be doing.
The idea of neurogenesis, of rewiring your brain can sound like an overwhelming job. But you do it thought by thought. The mind creating the brain which creates your everyday mind as I’ve written about before.
In his new book, Neil chronicles his visits to and experience of many different therapeutic approaches.
As someone who works with behavioural medicine (the practical application of neuroscience), I’m helping clients evolve themselves to become the person they want to be, the best version of themselves that has higher self-esteem because you can see the progress you have made.
As Neil realises the perfect relationship is not living with a harem of women in a polyamorous relationship because if you can’t make it work with one any more makes it worse, not better!!
And of course, the one he eventually realises he needs to sort out the relationship with is himself. Real relationships are human relationships where we are more fully in touch with our humanity. Joseph Campbell described life as the journey to becoming human.
How fully human are you in your interactions with others?
Another Joseph Cambell quote is: The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.
The more fully you can be yourself in relationships the more attractive and naturally charismatic you are.