Heal your won suffering

The​ Path of the Wounded Healer and why if you are anxious and depressed you may have no choice but to train in healing to heal your own suffering.

If you are anxious and depressed you may have no choice but to train in healing.

This is the path of the wounded healer where because you are looking for how to fix yourself you learn the skills to help other people as well.

Many people who are anxious and depressed feel stuck and I’m suggesting that is due to the western medical model prescribing a drug based solution. In a traditional indiginous society that society would look after you. And because you were part of that society it was inherently healing.

But this is a disease of the modern world where our tribe is online on social media rather than in person and of course there is a difference.

What gets lost is the subtle energetic communication that is just natural between humans.

Not to mention the distortions that social media creates because there isn’t that honesty that the in-person interaction creates when you are around people for an extended length of time because you can’t hide your problems with people who see you every day and every night.

Yet we now live in societies where it’s natural to hide our pain and suffering from our colleagues at work and perhaps even from our friends we socialise with because we’re trying to live up to an ideal that doesn’t actually exist.

We believe the stories we see on social media of everyone happy and smiling yet we know our own selfies where we are happy and smiling might have been the only time we actually smiled.

We are just as guilty of fake news as anyone else.

And because we know we are lying at some level we also know other people are lying as well even though we don’t want to see that because believing the lie feels so much better. It’s like eating chocolate. It feels good even though we know we are hurting ourselves over the longer term.

I’d argue most people don’t get what they want because they’re not doing what they need to get what they want. But that’s hard when it seems like there isn’t anything you can do that will work.

About waking up
It’s like you’re asleep and living in this dream or story where you have to follow the rules of the culture or society or business or family system that you live within but you have no awareness of that greater system that is setting the rules for the game that you are playing.

Waking up is going: “What do I want?” And understanding that most if not all of your answers aren’t what you want but are what other people want for you.

So you operate in a programmed way but don’t see that you are programmed.

But the more you work with your thinking the more you can start to see the patterns.

This is real mindfulness where you use self-inquiry to actively and intentionally move in a positive direction by looking at your own thinking and seeing what you normally wouldn’t be able to see because we just accept our everyday thinking.

And that everyday thinking usually isn’t us being happy.

Many spiritual traditions say something similar to Buddhism that tells us we live in a world of suffering and that there is a way out of suffering.

I’m saying that’s no different to going to the gym to build muscles it’s just that you are building the muscle of your mind by growing your brain. This is the process of neurogenesis where you are intentionally growing your brain and you do it through a process of guided self-inquiry.

Guided self-enquiry is where you have an experienced mentor who can cleanly facilitate your progress without imposing their way on top of your way because your way is always going to be unique.

But you need to wake up to the realisation that this is possible that there is a way out of suffering.

Most people believe what everyone around them are telling them. So much so that we actually stop thinking for ourselves.

It’s natural to look for a leader to tell us what to do. It’s how we are wired as humans, we’re a tribal species and naturally look for who is part of our tribe and who isn’t because those people who aren’t might be dangerous and we’re wired to look for danger as an evolutionary driven survival mechanism.

Many people don’t feel they fit in because they are anxious and depressed. Or is it actually that they are anxious and depressed because they don’t fit in?

I’m saying it’s this lack of a tribe supporting you that creates this experience of disconnection.

But by definition the Shaman was different. They were either born different or went through a traumatic experience where they essentially died to their old life and were reborn as different.

So the Shaman doesn’t fit in with the rest of the tribe. They are different.

Most healers are wounded in some way and because of that wound do the work necessary to find a way to heal themselves. And as a consequence of their own journey develop the skills to help other people.

But many people are also stuck in anxiety and depression because the society we live in says you have to go to medical school and be part of the system.

But you can learn to be a Shaman yourself because you may have no other choice.

Your healing journey marks you out as different and you either continue to suffer or wake up to the reality that many other people are also waking up and that the tribe you are part of isn’t just your family or religion or country.

You are part of a tribe called “human” and humans suffer.

This is the Bodhisattva Vow from Buddhism where you choose to become a healer because your realisation is that you can’t be happy if other people are unhappy. So in healing yourself you also have to work out how to heal them.

Next time I’ll tell you about Naked Shamanism where I’ve taken the clothes of culture off Shamanism to reveal the power within and show you that you can use your everyday life as a path to heal yourself.