Even if you get the idea of a “growth mindset” and have read Carol Dweck’s book “Mindset” I want to explain it a little differently to show you the biological reality, not the psychological theory and how mindfulness can be used most likely in a different way to how you’ve probably learnt to use it.
I grew up practising meditation and mindfulness while I was supposed to be at secondary school (high school) in the late 1970’s early 1980’s I was often skipping school and playing truant. My teenage rebellion was a slightly strange quiet rebellion of hanging out in bookshops and libraries in the “mind science” section which housed not just the psychology books but also the Buddhist, spiritual and esoteric books.
I was often sent to the library while I was in school because I was the kid with the stutter. I literally couldn’t say certain words. I couldn’t communicate with people. So the help my school provided was to send me to the school library to study by myself. They also moved me from the smart kids class down to the dumb and naughty kids class which is where I learnt how to skip school without getting caught.
I was in the mind science section because I got that I had a problem I literally could not communicate. I couldn’t say words that started with “B” or “P” and “S” was pretty tricky as well. So I had to work out in my head before I said anything what I was going to say to choose the words I actually could say. I got that I had to use my mind to work out how to get around the difficulties I had with speaking.
Even later when I’d left school and gone to work and was earning money for many years, I had a £100+ a month habit of visiting the second-hand esoteric bookshops.
I had the realisation that by stepping into the moment I was living in which was different from my thinking experience I had a different experience of reality a more direct experience of reality. I also realised that when I was stuttering, it was because I was listening to myself speak and interrupting that speaking process. When I was not in my thinking mind, I was present to the world in a way that was more alive, and I just spoke differently without stuttering.
How I’d explain this now many years later is that I literally grew my brain through meditation and mindfulness.
Neuroscience is about using technology to actually look at the brain. Psychology is about theories of how the mind works. So psychology has changed drastically in the last few years when the technology developed so we could actually see what the brain was doing as opposed to making up theories about what the brain was doing.
From the perspective of someone who has meditated since I was a child now forty years later and gone through the experience of trying to understand my experience by doing a degree in Psychology then moving to Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), then training as a hypnotherapist. Then apprenticing myself to some of the best therapeutic geniuses in the world including Stephen Gilligan, Ernest Rossi, Bill O’Hanlon, David Grove, Bradford Keeney, Richard Bandler, John Grinder, Jonathan Altfeld and working with Joseph Riggio for over ten years. Not to mention training in Polarity Therapy, Huna Hawaiian Bodywork and Healing and becoming a Kahuna Lapa’au. Studying Chinese Medicine, Reiki, Pranic Healing, and studying many different kinds of shamanism with indigenous healers. It’s been an interesting first half of my life.
Because while I had my own direct experience of being able to perceive things differently and experience the world differently, I got I was just a bit odd and couldn’t share that experience because it scared me. I’d gotten used to being the outsider at school, I’d gotten used to hiding my difference at work to fit in. Because that’s what everyone does. Really we’re all different, unique, and that’s the most beautiful thing about each of us. Yet we hide it to fit in to be part of the group.
We’re a tribal species. You only have to look at today’s world and see how in the stress and anxiety of a rapidly changing world we revert to our more primitive instincts to look for what we think is the safest space and place to be. From the confusion of the United Kingdom and Brexit. To the United States and Trump.
And because we’re a tribal species, we love Facebook but conveniently forget that we’re editing our photos and editing what we write to show the best versions of ourselves. You might even go we’re acting as fake as any fake news.
If you know any journalists, they only get to write what their editor will approve otherwise it won’t get published. They don’t get to write what they want. They write what will get published or they don’t get paid.
As a child of 8, 9 and 10 years old I loved Japan and Japanese people because I wanted to be a Samurai.
Part of it was I wanted one of those swords. But I also got that they had a Way. And yes that’s with a capital W.
It was partly that they studied Zen Buddhism. So I spent many days in different libraries (I had access to four). Trying to understand this Way.
Years later having studied a number of different martial arts and having built up my own library and given it away (several times) I find that this warriors mindset is about how you relate to people which comes from how you relate to yourself on the inside. Because if you’re not open with yourself what I call having an inner authenticity. In the same way that if you don’t love yourself, it’s difficult to genuinely love other people. This lack of connection to your own inner authentic self makes us fake and fucks up our relationships just as we fuck up the relationship we have with ourselves.
In the rest of these secrets, I’ll reveal how you work on the relationship that you have with yourself from your sexual identity, to how you need and want others to think about you. How to fix the everyday life traumas you are exposed to. And how to heal your Shadow.