Paul makes two very key points:
First, emotions organize — rather than disrupt — rational thinking. Traditionally, in the history of Western thought, the prevailing view has been that emotions are enemies of rationality and disruptive of cooperative social relations.
But the truth is that emotions guide our perceptions of the world, our memories of the past and even our moral judgments of right and wrong, most typically in ways that enable effective responses to the current situation. For example, studies find that when we are angry we are acutely attuned to what is unfair, which helps animate actions that remedy injustice.
Second, emotions organize — rather than disrupt — our social lives. Studies have found, for example, that emotions structure (not just color) such disparate social interactions as attachment between parents and children, sibling conflicts, flirtations between young courters and negotiations between rivals.
The key is how emotions organise us. This is why my Feeling Thinking Loop™ is Feeling Thinking not Thinking Feeling.
You organise yourself for success by priming your thinking with the right feeling.
How most people stop themselves and get stuck is if you are not aware that you are running the Feeling Thinking Loop you believe that external circumstances cause your feelings.
So if you read your horoscope in the newspaper and it says you are going to have a great day you feel great.
If you get on the train, tube or bus and it’s running late and overcrowded you feel bad. And you get into work miserable and unhappy you communicate this to everyone around you.
And of course this literally infects everyone in your team.
You’ve become the plague carrier that has negatively influenced and persuaded your team to perform poorly.
You go home carrying this infection and piss off your wife or husband and shout at the children and make them cry.
All because you believe external circumstances make you feel a particular way.
The worst persuasion and influence is what you do to yourself.
But it’s also true as we were talking about last time that the best persuasion and influence is what you do to yourself.
It’s about learning to run your own life and stepping into the position of the adult who decides who is in control. If you are an 11 year old like Riley in the Pixar film Inside Out yes your emotions are in control. But is this still true of you when you are 20, 30, 40, 50 or older?
You can use emotion to empower yourself like I teach with the Feeling Thinking Loop or let emotion disempower you and not just mess up your life but those you work with and supposedly love and have chosen to spend your life with.
Change your attitude and you change your life.