Now where would be the fun if you were just sitting and doing vipassana in the quiet and tranquillity or with resonant people aka sangha? It’s about how you rub up against the world that shows you where your rough edges are. Another way of saying it is because you have the buttons, she’s able to push them.
You could think when a button gets pushed and you start to respond, ‘do I really want to respond that way’? Then decide what you want to do. I’d suggest you choose to reorganise yourself as you know how to, to be the way you want. You may have heard of something called ‘Exercise 5’ ?
And about polishing the rough edges, be thankful that you have been given this wonderful opportunity to develop yourself:-) You never know once you start putting your attention on this practice you might end up going looking for opportunities… Rather than staying in hermitage… Not that this is easy. But then the other Joseph, Dr Campbell said about setting out by choosing the deepest darkest part of the forest. So you make your own path, not treading the well trodden path because that is someone else’s.
And while it’s fun being in the now and having the experience of your life, it’s also useful to be able to think ‘through time while being ‘in time’. The decisions you make now have consequences. And those consequences are not just now but ripple out in and through time. So what do you want for your relationships now and in 5 years time, and in 10 years time, and in 20 years time, and in...........? And while you’re thinking about this, there probably is some benefit in having the relationship you have. So decide how you want it to be and hold the space. And hold the space. And hold the space…
The magic is in the moments. Making magic is when you pay attention to those moments and treasure them for what they are, which is what they are, not any meaning you ascribe to them, remember it’s all just data.