In memory of Roye Fraser - A Hero’s Journey, a Hero’s Life.

My colleague Jeff Leiken posted this on the MythoSelf Yahoo Group early this morning. Roye’s legacy continues, through Joseph and through Charles Moore who this weekend is presenting his Mythogenic Self training near London, we’ll be thinking of Roye and the blessing he has given us through Joseph, that we are continuing to extend out into the world. Here’s Jeff’s post:

It is said that the value of our life is not in what we talked about or even what we did, but in the value of what is left behind when we pass on…

I am deeply saddened to hear of Roye’s passing in a way that would not make sense in any logical, rational way… and that is the point of all of this work isn’t it? To begin to have the life that is real when we get beyond everything we think we know.

I never met Roye Fraser in the flesh but I knew him well, in some ways intimately… I knew him because I know Joseph Riggio and to know Joseph Riggio is to know of Roye Fraser’s life work and since his life work was him, it can also be said that to know Joseph Riggio is to know Roye Fraser… Never was there a student more intent on making this be so, rarely was there a teacher who appreciated it more and could simultaneously care less.

I can count in the thousands, the stories I’ve heard of Joseph’s years studying with Roye (some of them I could retell almost verbatim), studying with him almost every weekend for the better part of five years… In New Jersey, in Connecticut, in New York… Joe met his wife at one of these trainings, Joe found the teacher who would give him the gift that would become the foundation of his life’s work and perhaps most important of all, Joe found the Mentor who would help guide him - and even in moments carry him - across the threshold to set him without compromise on his quest, outward into the world.

My own life was a mess before I met Joseph. I was a world of potential with a gift buried somewhere inside, but spinning my wheels going nowhere. I was both desperately seeking to find a way out and equally as aggressive at making certain that nothing would work (it’s called secondary gain out the wazoo). I ran circles around the specialists I worked with, including many of these prominent nlp trainers who people rave about who haven’t the first clue of what it takes to do the real deep structural work that ultimately makes the difference… I don’t say that as a badge of honor, but only to put in context the tenacity that Joe assassinated my ego with the first weekend we met… you’d have to have been there that weekend to even begin to get what I mean by this… What he did that weekend was beyond genius, it was beyond generous… and in his eyes and voice and the resonance of his presence was the exact gift that Roye had given to him to be passed on, including the ruthless compassion to rip apart someone else’s personhood and set free the gift that G-d had given…

I know that Roye was a regular reader of this list even though he never wrote anything directly here. He had many opinions about decisions Joe made to allow certain people and their bullshit, and much respect for Joe’s tolerance and compassion to make room for their frailties. I believe that somewhere inside Roye admired Joseph’s willingness to allow people so much access to him with such ease, as he chose instead to make it almost impossible to get to him, not wanting to deal with everything that comes with big business, politics and public opinion… not that he cared, just that he didn’t want to waste his energy on it. Because of that, few really got to work with him, especially over the last decade… But he remained ever present and available for Joseph, meeting him for lunch or at a cafe or just for a long chat in the phone to offer his wisdom, if not just his opinions, to the man who surely was one of, if not his most, respected student.

I know that he loved Joseph like a son and I know that Joseph loved Roye like a father.

“Rarely do member of the same family grow up under the same roof” a quote from Richard Bach. But they do have a way of finding each other and when they do, they offer one another something that cannot ever be taken away. I know that as much as Joe’s received from Roye, Roye received plenty in return, probably more than he ever expressed to Joseph… It is part of the humaneness that comes with being in the role of teacher and why it can be said “it is lonely at the top”… lonely perhaps, but never alone.

I have only heard Joseph cry twice in my life. The first was at a Mytho training at Barnet Hill when he told a most intimate story about how he came to love his wife Nancy, the other was tonight on the phone when he told me of Roye’s passing.

Robyn and I send our heartfelt thoughts and prayers to Joseph and will hold a place of gratitude and remembrance for Roye at our Thanksgiving gathering tomorrow.

I would not be the man I am today if it weren’t for Roye, I wouldn’t be running the business I am running, doing the caliber of work I am doing, married to the woman I am married to and holding in my arms the beautiful child I am holding in my arms… To know Joseph Riggio is to know Roye Fraser.

The world is a better place because he was in it.

What greater blessing is there than this.

with Love, Respect & Gratitude, Jeffrey Leiken

— Jeffrey Leiken, MA Owner/Director, The Center for Performance and Success Licensed & Certified MythoSelf Master Trainer and Facilitator North America & Europe

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